Taking Stock

By Joye Williams for Boston Compass (#128)

October 9, 2020

I’ve been reflecting on this year and my current state. As the peak of systemic racism continues to take full effect, while COVID-19 leaves us in another crisis that requires a careful balance of separated togetherness, from loved ones lost, the day to day struggles, and the other personal hardships I've endured, this year has brought much strife, yet so much opportunity. I submitted to the low feelings, letting them wash over me. Rather, I’m washing them off like old scales, paying close attention to their form as I scrub them off, asking myself ‘how am I being affected? The old scales hanging loosely are the fear, depression, and stress I’ve held. It has caused me to take stock and reflect on what's important.

What went well today? I would ask myself this nearly everyday per my therapist. As I asked myself this question I realized all the appreciative moments I would have otherwise missed, like the caring text message from a new friend, a walk, the rejuvenation after a good cry, saving a huge bug in your house instead of screaming and killing it. Those things give more power to the bigger things like, a successful moment at work, family/friend time, a sense of financial stability, a Movement, a mini vacation, great news like DAP’s new expansion... Gratitude puts things in a healthy perspective, even in the darkest of times.

What are my values? As I continue to grow in my innate role as a perpetual learner, some of my specific values will become stronger and more noticed, some will be realized to no longer hold place in my life. As I continue to identify my values, I’m allowed to review if my actions are aligned with them. They are my blueprint. Some of my values include: Freedom, Courage, Creativity, Resilience, Stability, Love, Health, Family, Leadership, Wisdom, Loyalty, Spirituality. With my values in place I understand what's important to me, and I’m constantly reminded of my power of choice, and my response-ability in all matters of my life.

What are my intentions? Especially with the cooler air, crisping leaves, and that subtle inexplicable scent of approaching Fall, I’m called to set intentions. This season of transformation, to reflect and embrace change, you bury the seeds intended for blossom. The seeds’ path is completely unknown, the journey towards blossom may be smooth, or treacherous, but we know what the plant is. Moving into fall, I intend to plant the seed to find balance in what I do. A sincere current of ebb and flow, give and receive. With intentions, comes detachable visualization. You visualize the seeds journey, you visualize the way it blossoms. You begin with the end in mind. This opens up the doors to openly reflect on your current state, examine the journey of the smooth or treacherous one, let go of control, and hold on to the power you have to do what you're intended for.

—Joye Williams

Follow Joye Williams @peace_joyeandherbs

Check out all the art and columns of October's Boston Compass at www.issuu.com/bostoncccompass