Advice For Lovers: Yours Truly, Heart Soaked

By Daniela Thomas for Boston Compass (#128)

October 21, 2020

Q. How do I love myself? I’m 30 years old and I'm still looking for love in other people.

A. Don’t worry! We are constantly changing, and the love you had for yourself when you were younger is different from your future self-love. Loving yourself and loving others is not mutually exclusive; they both are able to happen in tandem. It’s our nature as humans to desire feedback/care/companionship from others. I really think the whole “self-care” movement is cringey because it revolves so much around secluding yourself. Taking a nice bath isn’t a cure-all for our treatment of ourselves. Having love for yourself is more than setting boundaries and taking a vacation day from work. It really is a constant practice- eventually you won’t have to think so hard about it. For me, faking it till I made it really went a long way and I can’t remember when it actually clicked into my reality. Don’t forget just because you love yourself doesn’t mean that’s the end of the journey- there are days where it’s just not going to feel authentic and years where you might have to adjust things. You will find a balance for finding love within yourself and for others.

—xoxo Heart Soaked @heart.soaked

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