October 15, 2020
5 Ways Your Houseplant is More Responsible than Trump’s Presidency:
Number One: Cleans the air
Plants are great for cleaning the air! They literally purify and take toxins out of the stuff you breathe in everyday. As opposed to removing environmental protections and polluting our waterways.
Number Two: Good for your health
Just seeing plants helps your brain chill out. Studies have shown that plants lift your mood, lower blood pressure and reduce stress. Legitimately the opposite of our nonexistent pandemic response team. TBH your plant addiction is totally justified.
Number Three: Uses the resources you give it to fix its problems
Water? They love it! A little compost tea made from egg shells, bananas and coffee? Now it can replace some older leaves! Just like we should replace some old policies! (And people!)
Number Four: It will tell you if something is going horribly wrong
Crispy or yellowing leaves can mean over or under watering. Checking the roots and sniffing for weird smells can show if you have root rot. We can smell rot in the government but DT would never rat on a fellow white supremacist.
Number 5: Has never lied to Congress
Your houseplant has 100% never lied to Congress or the American people. God bless American houseplants. Vote November 1st so we can stay well enough to take care of them.
—Cheryl Rafuse @plantmagicshop